Are you still married in heaven? Jeanette and Alexander Toczko thought so. They died in each other’s arms only hours apart from each other after 75 years of marriage. The wife told her husband as he died, “Wait for me, I’ll be there soon.”
They knew their story wasn’t over. They loved each other deeply on earth, and trusted that their love would continue into eternal life.
Will there be romantic relationships in heaven?
Our desire for a soul mate is not just a biological drive to procreate – we have a natural intuition that love is eternal. Our longing for this love is a part of our spiritual lives. It is the fullest expression of the dynamic, living marriage of love and wisdom in all creation. Our earthly relationships are a reflection of this powerful connection.
Married love originates from the marriage between goodness and truth, and this marriage comes from the Lord.Emanuel Swedenborg, Marriage Love 180
But doesn’t Jesus Christ say there’s no marriage in heaven?
“At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven” (Matthew 22:30) (NIV)
He says similar things in Mark 12:25 and Luke 20:34-36, but He’s talking about spiritual marriages. Earthly marriage is a symbol of the marriage of love and wisdom, like the marriage of Christ and His church (talked about symbolically in Revelation 19). It is that marriage of love and wisdom that creates a spiritual marriage.
A spiritual wedding is a connection with the Lord, and this connection can happen on earth. When it does happen on earth it is happening in heaven as well, and so in heaven the wedding is not happening, nor are they given in marriage, all over again.Emanuel Swedenborg, Marriage Love 41
We develop our connection to God while on earth. We marry love and wisdom to each other in our spirits through our choices and intentions. It is this marriage within our hearts and minds that leads us to become angels in heaven. We are what we love, and what we love leads us to our spiritual home.
God’s Love for Love
God is the marriage of love and wisdom. Married love between two people is a reflection of that marriage.
True marriage love is nothing more nor less than the joining together of love and wisdom, and two married partners who share this love between and within them become an image or form of this connection.Emanuel Swedenborg, Marriage Love 65
Since God created this kind of love, God has prepared the world to make it possible. Nobody will be lonely for eternity.
A Soul Mate Match
So what is marriage in heaven like? Can you get married in heaven, even if you weren’t married on earth? Yes! Everyone who wants a spiritual marriage will have one. We will find a soul mate if that is what we want, someone who we can love and grow with to eternity.
To anyone who longs for true marriage love the Lord provides compatibility. If it does not happen on earth, then he provides for it in the heavens. This is because all marriages based on true marriage love are arranged by the Lord.Emanuel Swedenborg, Marriage Love 229
Married couples in heaven experience a deepening love forever. Their relationship brings them lasting joy and delight. Part of this is through shared creativity. They express their love by working together to help others.
To learn what happens to spouses in heaven and whether you reunite with your spouse in heaven see our show Only Some Married Partners Stay Together After Death and to learn more about marriage in the afterlife and who your soul mate will be see our show How You Will Find Your Soul Mate After Death.
Is there sex in heaven?
The joy of shared usefulness among couples in heaven filters directly down into the pleasure and delight of love-making. So sex does exist in heaven, but it won’t result in children. Instead, there are spiritual offspring.
Through their ultimate satisfaction, two married partners are more and more closely united in a marriage of goodness and truth. The marriage of goodness and truth is a marriage of love and wisdom, and love and wisdom are the offspring born of such a marriage.Emanuel Swedenborg, Marriage Love 44
Even though there’s no reproduction in heaven, you can still have kids. Even in heaven, there will be children looking for families. Anyone who wants a family can have one.
Summary
Marriage in heaven is for everyone who wants lasting joy, love, and connection. This kind of love is the ultimate expression of the power of God and the marriage of love and wisdom.
We can begin this eternal process by marrying goodness and truth in ourselves now, whether we marry in this world or not. This simply means seeking wise love in all we do and taking actions in alignment with that love.
To learn about Emanuel Swedenborg, whose nearly thirty years of open communication with the spiritual world informs this content, see this short video or read about his life and work here.
And for extras on this topic from the Off The Left Eye team, listen to the related Inside Off The Left Eye podcast episode: After Death Communication and Swedenborg’s Publishing Gap.
My husband died 4 weeks ago, ages 37. He always said I was he’s soul mate and one true love and I always said the same. I want him to be waiting for me, but if I live for many more years, is there a possiblity that he will find a new love in heaven while I live on earth? I have no intention of moving on even though I am only young
Dear Jeri, my heart breaks for you painful loss. Please don’t worry one bit about your beloved husband finding new love. There is no linear time in the afterlife, so having many earthly years go by will mean nothing to him. Trust in the bond of love that you have between you. That bond is still just as real, and his spirit is dwelling with yours. – Karin
HAs anyone on here ever known anyone who has died and come back and seen married couples in heaven?
Good question! I have read thousands of NDE stories, and I feel sure that I have read encounters in which someone saw their parents or grandparents together, but I’m not sure how to re-find those particular stories. I remember one story in which the man having an NDE saw a scene in which a husband in the afterlife was very eagerly waiting for his wife, who was about to cross over, and that there was also a crowd of people in the afterlife gathered there in support of this reunion, very moved by the love between this husband and wife. That might have been in “The Message” by Lance Richardson that I read some years ago, but I’m not certain. Also, if a widow or widower has deeply loved their deceased spouse, it is very common to have them report, on their deathbed, that their spouse is coming to greet them, which indicates that the relationship is still active and important. Emanuel Swedenborg is sometimes described as having had a 27-year NDE. Though he was not near death, he did have daily visions into the afterlife, and was able to describe a tremendous amount about what he saw there. He saw many married couples in heaven, and reported that everyone who wants a soul-mate relationship will be granted that in heaven, even if they had not found a partner on earth.
I am 57 and never married. I am also a Virgin but will not have sex outside marriage. Are you saying if I never get married on earth I can be married in heaven and experience sex? What Bible scriptures support having sexual relations between spouses in heaven?
Yes, Stephanie, that is exactly what we believe! I think some of your question is addressed in the episode, but for an excellent article on the Bible basis for these ideas, I recommend this one: “Is There Sex in Heaven?”
Author and Bible scholar Lee Woofenden breaks down different passages from the Bible that indicate the permanence of marriage and the importance of union – such as “be fruitful and multiply” (Gen 1:27-28) and see Matthew 19:4-6, Mark 10:6-9.
Our work is based on the theological writings of Swedish scientist and Christian mystic, Emanuel Swedenborg (1688-1772), which he learned through direct spiritual experiences and visions, and through his study of and devotion to Bible scripture.
Swedenborg’s spiritual sight was opened in him mid-50s, after he had been through an intense period of self-examination, repentance, prayer and Bible study.
We share a pivotal vision that was a culmination of that inner work, which shifted him into a whole new world of visions: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gxlMnT_U1g&t=100s
After his spiritual sight was opened, Swedenborg was able to see countless scenes and events in the spiritual world over the next 27 years, to talk with thousands of people in the afterlife, and to write many of the experiences down in his diary and books. Much of his work is devoted to sharing what he believed was the inner, spiritual meaning of the Bible, and that is what we share here.
The Bible tells us it contains an inner meaning, and here are some quotes that indicate this: “All these things Jesus spoke to the multitude in parables; and without a parable He did not speak to them.” —Matthew 13:34
“These things I have spoken to you in figurative language; but the time is coming when I will no longer speak to you in figurative language, but I will tell you plainly about the Father.” —John 16:25
“I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now” (John 16:12).
“If I have told you earthly things and you do not believe, how will you believe if I tell you heavenly things?” (John 3:12).
“To you it’s been given to know the mysteries of God’s kingdom, but to the rest, in parables, so that seeing, they would not see, and hearing, they would not hear” (Luke 8:10)
“Our competence is from God, who has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant, not of letter but of spirit; for the letter kills, but the spirit gives life.” (2 Corinthians 3:5–6)
“Give ear, my people, to my teaching; incline your ears to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings from of old” (Psalm 78:1–2).
If you would like to learn more about how Swedenborg read and understood the Bible, check out our episode, “What the Bible Is,” https://youtu.be/v0mE8IDLynE , or this short clip, “It Is Damaging To Take The Bible Literally,” https://youtu.be/eXUXZ8BigDk
If you’d be at all interested in hearing how the ideas in this show are grounded in the Bible, I recommend the recorded episodes of this Bible study: https://www.spiritandlifebiblestudy.com/
And, if you’re wondering whether Swedenborg would be useful in your life, check out this blog post: “Why Read Swedenborg? Isn’t the Bible Enough?” https://swedenborg.com/why-read-swedenborg-isnt-the-bible-enough/?fbclid=IwAR3DIoSOC6BC6q-iu1-v4Y3Mh7uT0spAu4gfidTSUuEXiShM1szOTtfQoUE
We share this information for anyone who is interested, but we also respect that everyone is on their own spiritual path, and in their own relationship with the Word and with God. We respect your right to decide for yourself whether to accept what Swedenborg learned, or not. Thank you for sharing your perspective on all this, and we are wishing you well. God bless!
What does God have in mind for us, there are so many ppl. What does He have in mind for us? What are we going to be doing?
Think of all the good and enjoyable things there are to do on earth, and then multiply that by a million or more! On earth, there are all sorts of situations that block us from doing what we truly love to do, but in the afterlife, those limitations will be gone. There will be endless ability to find interesting ways to creatively contribute to society in a way that shares information, healing, care and love. Swedenborg said only a few of those kinds of tasks and activities are things we can imagine from an earthly point of view. Many activities in heaven are things we can’t imagine till we get there. But they all have to do with making life better for others, which in turn brings more blessings and joy into our own lives. For some idea about life in heaven, watch our episode “A Day in the Life of An Angel” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3BmPm7DPv0&t=3s
What about christians who remarry after a spouse dies?
Hello, George! We address that in our episode “How You Will Find Your Soul Mate After Death.” Please take a look at see if that answers your question! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7l1MNNNhitk
Will I still know my pets and my memawl if I die?
Yes, you will be able to reunite with everyone that you care about after you die. Concerning pets, see our short clip “Pets in Heaven” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_juw6tmXQY
A lot of this new information about marriage in Heaven comes from the writings of Emanuel Swedenborg, who was a late 18th century theologian and writer. My question is this: If Swedenborg was a contemporary of our Founding Fathers, and his works have been around for more than 200 years, why is so little known about him? My father has been a spirit-filled Evangelical Christian for forty years, and when I mentioned Swedenborg to him he had no idea who I was talking about. Most church pastors are clueless. Was there a cover-up of his works in the 19th or early 20th century? There is such a wealth of wisdom and truth in what this man teaches that I find it odd that the church would bury it.
Hello, Bob! Excellent question. The fact that Swedenborg’s books have been slow to become more widely known seems to be a combination of actual suppression of those writings, and then also simple lack of interest. While Swedenborg was still on earth, there were actual efforts by some to discourage influential people from reading or approving of them. Lutheranism was a state religion in Sweden at the time, and at one point Swedenborg’s books were even put on trial because they were considered heretical. But also, there were barely any readers interested in diving into the books at the time Swedenborg was publishing, and Swedenborg reports that this made angels both surprised and sad. By the middle of the 19th century Swedenborg was actually getting pretty well known in educated circles, but then in the early 20th century Christianity was pushing back against spiritualist movements, and Swedenborg’s works seem to have gotten pushed out of the communities of religious thought. However, when growth of awareness grows slowly, I think it can have more staying power in the end. With the emergence of the near-death experience literature, and other acknowledgements of the legitimacy of spiritual experiences, Swedenborg’s books are becoming more and more of a crucial bridge between spirituality and religion, and interest is growing. So I think it has all been happening under the care of Divine Providence. Here is a short clip from one of our Q&A episodes in which our panelists discuss the question “Why Isn’t Swedenborg More Well Known?” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hle_0cLbCJQ&t=5s And here is a full length episode exploring the effects of Swedenborg’s books on modern culture through various influencers in the 19th century: “Swedenborg’s Influence Game Show” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZ20NPJk2_Q&t=1292s
Without a doubt,…I KNOW that there will be ‘Marriage in Heaven’, Spiritual or otherwise, and I will once again be reunited with my beloved wife, because Jesus PROMISED that “He will wipe away every tear from our eyes” (Revelation 21:4) when I get there! Here on earth, these tears of mine flow EVERY DAY from the sheer loneliness of not being by the side of the most beautiful woman I have ever known, who past away from breast cancer! As it was written, so let it be done!
Ronald, my heart aches for your painful loss. I’m so glad you have confidence in the Lord’s promise that your heart will be healed in heaven, and that you will be reunited with your beloved wife. We are sending much love to you, and wishing you healing and peace!